‎Laff it off!! Warri Gist!!

Laff it off!! Warri Gist!!
I called a shildhood friend who lives in Warri to ask after a common friend of ours, Osogono, and asked "if he dey the ground?"
Shildhood Friend: Shuo! You no aware?
Me: Wetin?  Wetin? Osogono don late?
Shildhood Friend: Abeg clear! Na so person dey quick die? Na fawol?
ME: Oya no vex. Detail me the gist?
Shildhood Friend: Not to hin. No be Sogogbish dey do first-to-die with one kpomushele for Bendel Estate...
ME: I dey hear.
Shildhood Friend: Not to small thing o. No do no do, na so Sogogbish preg the babe.
ME: How that one come be new edition?
Shildhood Friend: I go quench the gist if u shook mouth put again o!
ME: No provoke. Dey relate the gist.
Shildhood Friend: Last month na hin yawa gas o! All this while wey Sogogbish dey comb the babe, our guy no fit decode say she... The babe... Na second verse for one Rear Admiral anthem!
ME: YAWA!
Shildhood Friend: Na so I dey toilet dey kaka for Sogogbish bink I just hear Gboaaa!!! 5 naval guys just matching matching the door. Before I say make I clean kaka... Gbooaaah again!! Them don enter Sogogbish room.
ME: Where Sogogbish come dey?
Shildhood Friend: Aliiiiiii, if you see the beat them beat me? Me wey I no see the babe kpekus... If u see the kpokporing. I for no kuku clean yansh na... I kaka for body na!
ME: Wia Sogo..?
Shildhood Friend: Sogogbish dislink through ceiling. And I warn am... I warn am say this Admiral babe wey you dey RETWEET anyhow...
That was where I lost it. I had to laugh!

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